The Secret to Effective Change: Shifting From ‘Me’ to ‘We’
July 2024
By Alastair Colin-Jones,
Senior Director, Business Transformation & Learning,
Mutual Value Labs
One of my favourite books is United by Cory Booker. Early on, the author moves into an impoverished housing estate and approaches the local matriarch with an offer to help. She pauses and asks him to describe what he sees. He talks about the difficulties he has observed in the community around him, and she turns away, dismissing his offer of help. She says:
‘The world you see outside of you is a reflection of what you have inside of you. If all you see are problems, darkness and despair, then that’s all there’s ever going to be. But if you’re one of those stubborn people, who every time you open your eyes, you see hope, you see opportunity, possibility, you see love, then you can be someone who helps me.’
At the Economics of Mutuality Alliance, we believe there is a better way of seeing and doing business. Contrary to the natural business instinct of just getting on with the doing part, it is essential we remember that the quality of our seeing is what will primarily affect the quality of our doing. In other words, before we can do better, it is imperative that we see better.
Fundamentally, it all starts with seeing the world in a way that no longer places ‘me’ and ‘my organisation’ in the centre. A nice idea, but what does that look like in practice?
Let’s make it personal to begin with… When we’re searching for purpose at work, are we only thinking about finding something that I find fulfilling? Or engaging with an issue that I feel passionate about? Are we merely pursuing a form of self-actualisation – asking how can I be the best, most fulfilled version of myself?
We often do more good for others by shifting to a perspective of what is called self-transcendence. Where, instead of asking questions premised on how career, people, and activities affect ‘me’, we first recognize we are parts of bigger systems where we might chose to love, serve, and impact others.
It’s about taking ourselves out of the centre of the picture. That’s not easy to do, but when it happens, it changes the whole basis of our questioning. We start to ask new questions such as, ‘How can I best be of service to a world in need? How can I use what I have to do the most good possible for others? How can I maximise my impact?’
So far so good. However, once we adopt that outward-facing mindset, the world can often feel big and overwhelming. In response, we have a tendency to break issues down into distinct, manageable chunks and tackle them separately: ‘You can deal with that problem over there – I’ll deal with this one over here.’
Sometimes this ‘tunnel vision’ way of thinking can be helpful – it can certainly make things seem more manageable. But it misrepresents reality. We need to see things more laterally. The world is not a machine that can be broken down into distinct parts to be fixed in isolation – it is a complex, living system where the relationships between the parts are just as important as the parts themselves.
Everything is connected – and so we need to be people who think systemically – not just looking at our part of the picture, but the whole thing.
You know that political or moral issue that you feel really strongly about? Have you ever had the experience of hearing someone who has the opposite view talk about your perspective as if it’s stupid, when you’re just as convinced they’re in the wrong? Jarring, isn’t it.
We all tend to think that we’re right about things. So much so that our brain filters out information that conflicts with our intuitive view (cognitive dissonance), or even reinterprets it as being supportive of our view (confirmation bias). This makes it really hard to change our minds.
The social and environmental issues we want to solve are dizzyingly complex – so we need to be really good at learning new things and updating our existing views if we’re going to have a chance of solving them.
Author Adam Grant encourages us to think less like a preacher (who is convinced that they’re right) or a prosecutor (who is convinced that others are wrong) and more like a good scientist, who is willing to listen to new evidence and update their views accordingly.
Ultimately, it’s about intellectual humility – being able to admit that we may be wrong and being keen to listen to those with different views – especially those with lived experience of the issues we’re trying to solve. It’s about combining a bird's eye view of the overarching system with a worm’s eye view of what’s happening on the ground.
So, how do we start on this journey from ‘me’ thinking to ‘we’ thinking? Instead of asking what will leave you fulfilled, ask how to do the most good you can for others. Instead of looking at your own little piece of the puzzle, look at all the relationships and connections across the system. Instead of believing that you alone are right, listen to the views of others.
